Stormy

I got it in an email, I had no idea it was a hoax, but I'd have posted it anyway for a laugh or two. You know how strange my mind is

Thanks for the update. It's good that she's conscious now. As for passwords, I'm sure Koach will check this thread later and advise about access to password. However, you could always go to the top of the page and register your own account and password. If you need an help with that, you could ask here and one of us will help. Stormy

The following image is from: http://www.dailywire.com/news/5361/can-trump-beat-hillary-here-are-latest-polls-james-barrett# And here is the tossup map: From the same link as above.

See anything Strange here? The Original Picture Makes me wonder if maybe the polls are inflated in the same basic way, eh?

That's exactly what's happening here now.

Thank you for this, we also value Dawn. Please keep us posted, I'm making a guess that this is Laurie. While I can't speak for everyone, I will be praying for her and her family. Just tell her the Old Golden Shellback is thinking of her.

Thank you

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.-- John Adams 2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain 3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain 5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw 6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy 7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian 8. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. --Ronald Reagan (1986) 9. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers 10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke 11. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -- Mark Twain (1866) 12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous 13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill 14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain 15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain 16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians --Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995) FIVE BEST SENTENCES 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

This is straightforward country thinking. by Jeff Foxworthy Which side of the fence are you on?? If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him. If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. A Democrat demands that those they don't like be shut down. If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his. If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended."

All about Power

I like this one:

LOL

LOL Casa

ROFL

A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65 ". The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

lol

lol

Wal-Mart announced that sometime in 2016 it will begin offering customers a New discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest Retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the wines at affordable prices in the $2 to $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts but, 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor of Marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. 'However, branding will be very important.' Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brands and varieties. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were: 10. Chateau Traileur Parc 9. White Trashfindel 8. Big Red Gulp 7. World Championship Riesling 6. NASCARbernet 5. Chef Boyardeaux 4. Peanut Noir 3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar 2. Grape Expectations 1. Nasti Spumante The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel). P.S. Don't bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know Possum is not a white meat.

I was going to put this in Jokes, however after a second read, I decided it's too true to be funny, even if we are the Laughing Stock of the world. This is Canada 's Top Ten List of America 's Stupidity. Of course we look like idiots - we are! # 10 Only in America ... could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate Obama campaign fund-raising event. # 09 Only in America... could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black, 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanic # 08 Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes. # 07 Only in America... can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash. # 06 Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens. (probably should be number one) # 05 Only in America ... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be called EXTREMISTS # 04 Only in America ... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote. # 03 Only in America ... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike). # 02 Only in America... could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money. # 01 Only in America.... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all. Bonus: " Only in America do you have to pass a drug test to get a pay check, yet any crack head can get their welfare check no questions asked."

Both good ones

Client: Help! My phones aren't working! Me: Is the internet working? Client: No. Me: Are there any lights on the modem? Client: There's no light under the "internet" slot, no. Me: Have you tried restarting the Router by unplugging it and plugging it back in? Client: Yes, it didn't do anything. Me: Let me check the access point…. It appears our access point is offline, so there's definitely a problem. Client: Would that have anything with us turning the power off on the tower? Me: You mean the tower with all the ISP equipment? Client: Yeah - is that a problem? Me: Well, yes, if you turned off the power to the tower, that would explain why you don't have internet or phone access. Client: How soon can you fix everything? Me: How soon can you turn the tower back on? Client: Well, that might be a problem. We didn't turn it "off." We stopped paying the electrical bill for that because we didn't think it was doing anything. Me: You cut off the power to all of your ISP equipment, and now you want me to fix it from my end? Client: Yes! Please hurry. I hope he found a full minute of awkward silence helpful, because that's all he was going to get from me.

George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available" George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Nice way to spend a day.

well, with no instructions to the contrary, the answer is quite obviously 19