Stormy

Nuclear Option has been declared for Mnuchin and Price. BTW: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/feb/1/vincent-tolliver-ejected-dnc-chair-race-over-criti/ DNC chair candidate ejected over criticism of Rep. Keith Ellison’s Muslim faith The DNC is in the process of rearranging their priorities. LBGTQ faction has apparently been kicked to the curb. Of course, we won't know for sure until after their election, Keith Ellison a Minnesota Democrat and the first Muslim elected to Congress seems to be the frontrunner.

This may come as a surprise to those of you who have never lived in Las Vegas. but there are more churches than casinos there. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services give chips rather than cash in the Offering Plates. Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to easily redeem the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to their casino of origin and cashed in. . . . . . . . . . . . This is done by the Chip Monks HAHAHA, didn't see that coming did ya?

Tell a Conservative a lie, he'll get mad. To make a Liberal mad, you have to tell them the truth.

Thanks Smiley, we appreciate what you do for us.

Thanks Eyecu

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. Oncet and Twicet are words. It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy! Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom? People actually grow, eat and like okra. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. The word jeet is actually a question meaning,'Did you eat?' You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss(first name) or Mr.(first name) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You know what a hissy fit is.. Fried catfish is the other white meat. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. AND one more: Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!

Bon Bon looks very lady like. Good girl.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again? Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!' The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

eggsullent idea

Very good, give him my congratulations, please.

Nice looking site Liam.

That's why it's posted in "Jokes" rather than "Discussion" LOL

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet. Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it's all the same." "Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says. As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing Seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida. They're waiting for Happy Hour when the drinks are half-price."

From what I understand, it's those things and many more. Some of the most important things these days in Web Development is making pages show more content, more images and more money making links and yet load fast enough that the viewer doesn't become bored or disinterested waiting for it to open. Another thing is to make whe WWW available to all and sundry, irregardless of any disabilities they may suffer. I'm sure there are many other challenges in Web development, such as "scaling" or making the same page viewable and understandable no matter the device used for viewing, such as: I use a 32" TV for a surfing monitor, other use tablets, phones, laptops, etc. The developer needs to assure that an individual with any of these devices will see basically the same thing. This is far from a complete list, but hopefully it will help. Ciao.

To all of you: Here's wishing you a very Happy, Prosperous and [above all] Safe New Year

And as an afterthought, why exactly are you not in chat telling us these things?

Congratulations to Dawn and Cmdr Dawn

Congratulations, Dawn

I have come to bring you peace. Not the peace of the season, for it is too fleeting, Not the peace of the carol, for it is nostalgic, Not the peace of the greeting card, for it is too slick, Not the peace of the crib, for it is too wistful. Rather, I have come to bring you peace, Peace of the ordinary, the daily, the homely, Peace for the worker, the driver, the student, Peace in the office, the kitchen, the farm. I have come to bring you peace, The peace of accepting yourself as I fashioned you. The peace of knowing yourself as I know you, The peace of loving yourself as I love you, The peace of being yourself as I am who I am. I have come to bring you peace, The peace that warms you at the completion of a task, The peace that invades you at the close of the day, The peace that sustains you at the beginning of the day, The peace that reinforces you when you are reconciled with one another. The peace that touches you when your family is in order. Without peace, my coming is unfulfilled. Without peace, my birth is forgettable. Without peace, Christmas is a contradiction. I have come to bring you peace.

I'm happy . . . We shall see what the future brings

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours.

Merry Christmas Dawn and Dawn's family.

Probably higher, IMO

* Redneck "Book of Manners" * 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a UHaul to the funeral home. **** DINING OUT **** 1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs. **** ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME **** 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are. **** PERSONAL HYGIENE **** 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days; however, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. **** DATING (Outside the Family) **** 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. 4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, "Ya sure don't sweat much for a fat broad." **** WEDDINGS **** 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. 5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack. **** DRIVING ETIQUETTE **** 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

LOL