Stormy

I have found the following wrong answers in my copy of questionsb.txt and have corrected them.

That's great to hear Dawn, keep us posted

ROFL

OK, fixed for #JOP BTW here's another reason I like NoteTab by Fookes:

A middle-aged frumpy couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde. "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 for the lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model." "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young woman approached the middle-aged couple and gave them the keys. "There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to reduce it. See you later, dad." Never mess with the old folks!

I'm very sorry to hear that Dawn. Give him lots of Ice Cream and cookies I'm also happy to hear that Jimmy was concerned enough to take over for a bit.

Thanks koach

Seems it was published in an anthology in 2007 Unique Chicken Goes In Reverse (PDF) (Eclipse Anthology #1, 2007) Nebula Nomination for Best Short Story 2007. http://www.nightshadebooks.com/Downloads/UniqueChicken.pdf

Very interesting article.

That would be funny if it weren't so true

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley-Davidson". Tom got a horrified look on his face. She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"? He replied, "There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."? "Ex wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"? Looking her right in the eye Tom replied: "I wasn't."

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon, from the nurse in the Ford Explorer you pulled over last week." Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?

ROFL

A pastor decided to do something a little different. He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever Hymn that comes to your mind --The pastor shouted out 'CROSS.' Immediately The congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS..' The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began To sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound..' The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.' The Pastor said 'SEX'. The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, Way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'MEMORIES.' Pass this along and make someone smile today. Gotta Love Little Old Ladies. Laugh... It burns calories.

LOL

two years and I still don't get it, must be one of those cultural things.

No, I heard about it though when I was in Norfolk.

Blondes, Blondes, Blondes I got kind of carried away on this one, noir detectives are probably my favorite reading adventure. Dashiel Hammet, Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane, Ross McDonald, Robert B. Parker to name just a few, who can forget Bogey in the Maltese Falcon, the novel was done by Hammet. So I copied this to RTF, HTML and TXT Thanks Smiley Blondes blondes blondes.htm Blondes.rtf Blondes blondes blondes.txt

I'm positive I do, live in a Nation run by idiots that is. Although banning plastic bags was a good thing in my opinion, I've tried to count how many I've seen hangin on trees, fences, animal horns (Deer and cow mostly) etc, and gave up, the sooner they're all gone the better off our country will look.

I hope so

Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area". The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way." So he continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster. The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions. And the practice is unbroken to this day...

Note: This should probably go into the General Discussion board It's attributed to Jeff Foxworthy. If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots. THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE!

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart. The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.

Dawn, Maybe take some remedial course during the summer and try again next fall or winter? Anyway, sorry to hear you were having problems with it. College level classes are hard enough and when you add raising two boys, it becomes much more difficult.