Stormy

A guy is driving rural Alabama and he sees a sign in front of a tired old house with lots of deferred maintenance: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. he guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'Do You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's more full of s*** than Hillary Clinton; He's never been out of the back yard'

Neat trip for sure. Thanks for sharing, Nan.

reader-chat-log-8_20_2016.txt

I thought that would ring a few bells.

Excellent Koach, thank you. I've added them to the bottom of my channel pop ups, easy to get to there

I agree with TV

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And God saw it was good. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God, again saw it was good. On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed it was good. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

I go sleep now, foolish human person.

ouch

It sure helped me.

I recently (Early this weekend) upgraded to Windows 10. Everything went smoothly (I did have to reinstall quite a few programs, but they were all there and just needed to be reinstalled to ensure they worked correctly with 10) I lost a few older apps, but as I didn't recognize the names, I figured they were no great loss. The one problem I had that was making me fret somewhat was my Windows Live Mail. I was receiving fine, but could not send. In attempting to send I kept getting this error message: So I promptly raced over to Senor Google and pasted this search string: "What causes this error: Windows Live Mail Error ID: 0x800CCC0E Socket Error: 10060" I read down and found that one person had repaired the same error message by simply opening his email properties, clicking on the "Advanced" tab and in 'Outgoing email (SMTP) changing the Port from the default of 25 to 587. I did that and shazaam, my email now sends fine

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime, Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

LOL yep

I'm thinking no one needed that after all LOL

OK, thanks for letting us know and I'm glad you broke down and went to the ER. Sorry about the ankle but now it matches your knee

LOL

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Happy Birthday Nan!!

ROFL, one of those "Funny, too bad it's true" things

LOL, you did more research than I did, I only verified that it was further from five and quit. Thanks for the additions

Just some things I found Just to give ya'll something to think about There is one fact not included in that image: Dalhart, TX is closer to 5 other state Capitals than it is to its own. True!

I need a truck this weekend, can I use yours? Please?

Re" The Orient Express? LOL

Saturday June 18, 2016. Not much going on today, half staff on duty in PT Dept. She did stairs again today, 5 up 5 down twice, She wanted me to thank everyone for the kind wishes and she'll be back as soon as she can She also wanted me to thank Elusive for the card.

I just realized that I gave no update yesterday but that's because I didn't go up yesterday, I took the day off and napped around the house LOL: I forget how far she walked yesterday, but she did 182 feet today, which is less than Wednesday, however they also had her climbing stairs today, five up, five down, five up again and five down again. All in all that's better than walking since we have a small set of stairs here between the office and the rest of the house. I'll be in KWS later tonight, I have a couple of things to do and just got home at 9:00 P. M.