Stormy

LOL

LOL

Romance is such a beautiful thing

BAH

See ya tomorrow and Bye Bye if I don't

BAH HUMBUG

Thanks Dawn

An elderly man in North Carolina owned a large farm that happened to have a large pond. It was just the right size for swimming, so he fixed it up with a picnic table, a dock, and shade trees. One evening the old farmer decided to take a walk down to the pond and grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he approached the pond, he saw it was a group of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. Not wanting to startle the women he made them aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave! The old man smiled and said , 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked.' as he held up five-gallon pail. 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Good luck with that, I'm not sure I want to live four more years, much less 100.

"Do as I say, not as I do"

Here's what I see when I use the channel popup in the window menu

LOL

LOL

ROFL "and they're paying their own way"

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which horse was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.

LOL

I was just going to post that LOL

lol yes, if I were her, I'd be very . . . concerned.

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?" Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?" Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

and probably worked

LOL

A union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and two beers in front of him. He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican." Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union boss. So the union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!" So just to make his point one more time, the union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. But, as before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!" Frustrated, the union boss asks the bartender, "What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly jerk does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?" "Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place."

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "No . . . I'm a frayed knot."

Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"