Stormy

I agree, I just thought it humorous. For clarification http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.asp

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus, and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers, and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B.' When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist... Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

I think you've got a very cute little doggie there, Nan.

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?' He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.' She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.' The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?' He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

LOL

Look familiar, anyone?

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: About $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 . . . correct? Man: Correct Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct? Man: Correct Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? Man: Do you drink beer? Woman: No Man: Where's your Ferrari?

Well, probably andthat's a huge problem in getting effective office holders now, there are more people voting for a living than there are who work for a living.

In a bid to stem taxpayer losses for bad loans guaranteed by federal housing agencies Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) proposed that borrowers be required to make a 5% down payment in order to qualify for a loan. His proposal was rejected 57-42 on a straight party-line vote because, as Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) explained, "Passage of such a requirement would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it." I can't add anything to this - - - - I just can't

Happy Birthday eXo

Absolutely correct, Nan.

Happy Birthday Crysta

In Louisiana , this fella, Boudreau had a bad vehicle accident, caused by a truck. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Boudreau: "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine" ? the lawyer asked." Boudreau responded, "Let me tole you what happen... Me, I had jus loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da...." I didn't ask for any details, the lawyer interrupted. Just answer the question ! Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine"? Boudreau said, " I had just got Bessie into da trailer and I was driving down da road . . ." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to answer the question." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreau's answer and said to the lawyer, " I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie." Boudreau thanked the Judge and proceeded, "I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and was driving her down da highway when dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. Me, I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into da udder. . . Me, I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move at tall. But, I could herd ole Bessie moanin' and groanin'. Me, I knew she was in some kind o' terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after da accident, a Highway Patrolman, he came on da scene. He herd Bessie moanin' and groanin' so, him, he went over ta her. After he took hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between da eyes. Den da Patrolman came cross da road, gun in hand, and looked at me, and said 'How are you feeling?' " "Now what da hell would you say? "

Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart, I love you

That's a cake? Looks loike the whole freaking candy store!! Happy Birthday Abi.

Well, it's at least strange, I'll give them that.

"RETARDED" GRANDPARENTS Written by a third grader , on what his grandparents do. After Christmas , a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house , but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box that has wheels, but its strapped to the ground. They ride around on their bicycles , and wear name tags , because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there , but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all just jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and , says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

ROFL

Those falls look powerful.

Gun Control. It has already started at ****'s Sporting Goods. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of a new rifle and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control whackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking, security, and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer! I STILL DON'T THINK I LOOKED THAT BAD NAKED.

Try splitting them up into several playlists, one playlist should be able to handle 1,000 songs, admittedly, I'm not an expert, just that's what I'd think.

Red sky at night, sailors delight and that is absolutely a red sky.

good job, Dash

I agree, it should not have been a problem, but as with many things, it became a problem due to over use. I, personally see no point in announcing what I'm listening to with an auto announcer. Possibly as Tw|tch said, say something like "I've got Twiddle Dee singing Moonlight over Mogadishu, has anyone else heard that? If so, what did you think?" But just to announce a song that no one else can hear is rather narcissistic. This has been my personal opinion and in no way expresses the opinion of Koach.com and is not to be mistaken for an official opinion. They could all be turned off tomorrow and I'd be happy, if they're all being played tomorrow, I'll find a way to prevent it giving me indigestion, I'm sure.

Thanks Dash, we have that on the calendar now