Stormy

It also opens with open office writer, just open writer first, then go to "file" "open" then navigate to the story's download folder and double click or single click, whatever you do to open a file on your computer.

you can't Get anyone to do something they don't want to do and as far as making him want to come, he's known about it for years, but where he is, it's a bad time for him, I think, you could ask him is all I can suggest, see if he has any interest, I've never seen him express an interest in reading, have you?

California The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state. TEXAS The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas isn't.

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup potand was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she couldtell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but,this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one. Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in the Dowerin Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No BellPeace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly old Butch! was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention? Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.

Well, to me "The Good Old Days" were the late 40s, 50s and early 60s, I can't recall anything before 1946 when my Dad came home from Germany. then most of the 60s I was in the Navy, as I look back at the Navy, it wasn't so bad. But it was no picnic, after 1969 it seems like everything is worse every year.

Just how good were the “good old days?” Folks on the western frontier led a hardscrabble life. They were wan with fever, gaunt, scrawny and peaked. Their children were sickly and fretful. Vegetables didn’t play a big part in their diet. They dwelt in primitive surroundings with lice, fleas and bedbugs. People settled close to streams and were besieged by flies and gnats by day and mosquitoes by night. Folks didn’t know about such things as spreading germs back then. Families ate by common platter and drank from common tin cups. Indigestion and dysentery was a common occurrence. Men bellied up to the bar and wiped beer foam from their mustaches with a common towel. Dental hygiene was non-existent. People brushed their teeth seldom if ever. At public eating places and stagecoach stations a community tooth brush, made from the bristle hair of some animal, would be shared by anybody who felt compelled to clean their teeth. Rolls of toilet paper we’re familiar with today didn’t come along until about 1880. Before that it was grass, corn cobs and other similar things. Shampoo didn’t come into use until the 1920s and soap was very hard on a woman’s hair so they washed their tresses only about once a month. All this begs the question;' were the “good old days” really that good?

That's . . . WOW!!!

Happy Birthday Dottie!!!

Happy Birthday Walter

yeah, nice to have that back

Thanks Dash, you too Happy Mother's Day folks

Dementia, I haz it 2 Happy Birthday, Patsy

Thank you all for your thoughts at this time.

Happy Birthday Patsy

Sorry Dash, I missed it in here, so Happy Belated Birthday

yup and one in the computer room

RIP Oreo 1996 - 2015

RIP Toughie May 1996 - April 2015

here ya go

Saves on paint jobs ; )

I have two externals, a WD and a Seagate, I really can't tell the difference, although I'm not sure I'd bother with a USB 3.0 if your USB ports are 2.0. I'm no expert on the difference though, just my 2 cents worth.

LOL

A husband and wife make their New Years resolution. This time they vow to religiously keep this commitment. On the 2nd day the wife catches husband on scale holding his stomach and chest in after shower as tight as possible. She lovingly says "dear, no matter how hard you hold in stomach and chest in, that will not make you any lighter." He responds "Lighter? I just want to see the numbers on the scale." __._,_.___

When God Created Virginia God had been missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day . He inquired, "Where have you been? God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused." God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?" "That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things" Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "Right next to Virginia is Washington , D.C. .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"