Stormy

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup potand was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she couldtell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but,this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one. Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in the Dowerin Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No BellPeace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly old Butch! was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention? Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.

Well, to me "The Good Old Days" were the late 40s, 50s and early 60s, I can't recall anything before 1946 when my Dad came home from Germany. then most of the 60s I was in the Navy, as I look back at the Navy, it wasn't so bad. But it was no picnic, after 1969 it seems like everything is worse every year.

Just how good were the “good old days?” Folks on the western frontier led a hardscrabble life. They were wan with fever, gaunt, scrawny and peaked. Their children were sickly and fretful. Vegetables didn’t play a big part in their diet. They dwelt in primitive surroundings with lice, fleas and bedbugs. People settled close to streams and were besieged by flies and gnats by day and mosquitoes by night. Folks didn’t know about such things as spreading germs back then. Families ate by common platter and drank from common tin cups. Indigestion and dysentery was a common occurrence. Men bellied up to the bar and wiped beer foam from their mustaches with a common towel. Dental hygiene was non-existent. People brushed their teeth seldom if ever. At public eating places and stagecoach stations a community tooth brush, made from the bristle hair of some animal, would be shared by anybody who felt compelled to clean their teeth. Rolls of toilet paper we’re familiar with today didn’t come along until about 1880. Before that it was grass, corn cobs and other similar things. Shampoo didn’t come into use until the 1920s and soap was very hard on a woman’s hair so they washed their tresses only about once a month. All this begs the question;' were the “good old days” really that good?

That's . . . WOW!!!

Happy Birthday Dottie!!!

Happy Birthday Walter

yeah, nice to have that back

Thanks Dash, you too Happy Mother's Day folks

Dementia, I haz it 2 Happy Birthday, Patsy

Thank you all for your thoughts at this time.

Happy Birthday Patsy

Sorry Dash, I missed it in here, so Happy Belated Birthday

yup and one in the computer room

RIP Oreo 1996 - 2015

RIP Toughie May 1996 - April 2015

here ya go

Saves on paint jobs ; )

I have two externals, a WD and a Seagate, I really can't tell the difference, although I'm not sure I'd bother with a USB 3.0 if your USB ports are 2.0. I'm no expert on the difference though, just my 2 cents worth.

LOL

A husband and wife make their New Years resolution. This time they vow to religiously keep this commitment. On the 2nd day the wife catches husband on scale holding his stomach and chest in after shower as tight as possible. She lovingly says "dear, no matter how hard you hold in stomach and chest in, that will not make you any lighter." He responds "Lighter? I just want to see the numbers on the scale." __._,_.___

When God Created Virginia God had been missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day . He inquired, "Where have you been? God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused." God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?" "That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things" Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "Right next to Virginia is Washington , D.C. .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucket full of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...' He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. 'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!' The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.' The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth all along. Let's see if we can see the Lord...? Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard,'One for you, one for me. That's all. ---Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...? They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

OKAY, never mind obout pasting, it only doesn't work in IE, it woirks fine in Google Chrome. Another reason to junk IE in favor of other browsers.

If ever you've wondered...."How did it all start?" Wonder no more! In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP). And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began. And that's the truth!