Koach

A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing the future one night. "Honey", the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?" "I suppose so - it's paid for." "How about our car? Continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that? "I suppose so - it's paid for." "What about my golf clubs? Would you let her use them too? "Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She is left-handed."

Happy Birthday Dawn!

Very interesting, Henry. Thanks for posting

A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, Ben drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." "Well, then, just give me the money back," said Jean Paul "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Replied Ben "OK, then. Just unload the donkey," said Jean Paul. "What ya going to do with him?" asked Ben. "I'm going to raffle him off," said Jean Paul. "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" uttered Ben. "Sure can. Watch me. I just won't tell that he's dead," said Jean Paul. A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" "I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898," said Jean Paul. "Didn't anyone complain?" inquired Ben. "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back,

I love the cat pic lol. and Nan, I agree, you can't take cool away from the Beatles

What a great picture. How much does Laylah weigh and what do you expect Reekoh will weigh when he matures?

oops, I just saw this message Happy Australia Day!

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him. To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally laid. The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Your Child? A parent? Who, may I ask, lies in that grave?" The mourner answered, "My wife's first husband! ... Why did you die? Why did you die?"

Beauty sure is a beauty. Do you think she's pregnant?

Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said,

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...." The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"

lol, I hope not too many engineers starve.

lol Henry

Happy Birthday NathanW!

lol Henry

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students: "The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

lol Henry, I get it

Happy Birthday Overdose!

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?" The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

I am not much of an expert with mirc, so if anyone can do this better or more eloquently, please do Right now, I am using this: When I connect, i start a timer in case I am not actually able to get my nick. Of course, put your registered nick whereever you see Koach. /timer5 0 30 /nick Koach Then, if i get the notice that my nick is in use, I use this to get my nick back and turn the timer off. raw 433:*: { /ns ghost $2 my-nick-pass /nick $2 /timer5 off } Is there a better way? Edited by Koach Jan 21, 2012

Happy Birthday, Shady

Happy Birthday, Alicia!