TV_Tech

Cat A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there. Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."

Golf lesson A schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

ouch!! my back aches just lookin at that

Zandor rocks I wish he'd come back to chat (yn) kazz too

she can't watch via internet either, that's blocked too

I discovered this on TW's website: The owners of CBS, Showtime/The Movie Channel and Smithsonian have forced us to stop carrying their programming. Visit www.TWCconversations.com/cbs for more information about the negotiations and a list of local broadcast stations that are impacted. http://www.timewarnercable.com/content/twc/en/residential-home/tv/channels/channel-lineup.html

BOB & THE BLONDE: Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar And stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story Of a man on the ledge of a large building Preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, The guy on the ledge Did a swan dive off the building, Falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, But willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's f air. Here's your money." Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, So I knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did, too, But I didn't think he'd do it again." Bob took the money.

beautiful red sky at night, sailor's delight (next day weather will be nice), red sky at morning, sailors take warning (weather will be nasty).

LOL!! nice tip

they look like our "tim bits" or in the US I believe the're called "donut holes"

Babies Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins." "What a coincidence," the man says. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team." A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets." "That's really an incredible coincidence," he answers. "I work for the 3M Corporation." An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets. The man says, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence!" After hearing this, everyone's attention turns to the fourth guy, who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, "I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers."

Forget An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down." He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

Bill Gates Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."

Where's the Husband? Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!" "I know!" the next woman says, "Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house, but when I called he wasn't there." The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women exclaim, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."

A retired man A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from school. Finally, the man decides to take action and walks out to meet the boys. He says, "You kids are a lot of fun. I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids continue to do a bang-up job on the trashcans. After a few days, the man tells the kids, "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income. From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers are displeased, but they accept his offer. A few days later, the retiree approaches them again. "Look," he says, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to pay more than 25 cents. Will that be OK?" "A freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaims. "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts. We quit."

lol stormy NO!! koach, you'll break another limb

I would think any soda would work but I believe cherry coke would be very close to Dr. Pepper, thanks for posting this Blondie

Noon Gun

thanks Nan where that lil white hut is on the left is where they've been firing off the noon canon for the last hundred or more years. it still scares me when they fire it. I'll try and catch a snap of that too.

rofl...all hidden henry

This is a screen shot of my desktop

Downtown Halifax

This is a photo of the Halifax Casino taken from my balcony. It sits literally on the water

here is a photo of the hill from my balcony

LOL