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Australian Computer Terminology !


Nan

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LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..

BYTE: What mozzies do

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A pub snack.

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart. 

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go. 

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things. 

NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net. 

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing. 

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

 

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Words that might confuse you:

 

"ute" - short for "utility vehicle" I believe you call them a pickup.

"mozzies" - mosquitos

"cold tinnies" - cold cans of beer

"pub" - hotel 

"counter lunch" - lunch you buy at the pub through the week that can be eaten while sitting at the bar (although these days most pubs have high tables and benches with stools, scattered around the pub for such purpose

 

holden-ute-ssv-series-2-phantom.jpg

A ute ^^^

 

 

katdan3.jpg

 

 

Typical pub setting for meals

 

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