Sparhawk Posted February 18, 2013 Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 Inspired by Nan's funny Complaint Dept list I have had this kicking around for years: Qantas maintenance logs............ Qantas are the national airline for Australia Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. These are some of the best examples of the exchanges between the pilots and the ground crews............ P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: We have ordered frresh supplies of live bugs for the wind shield P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny........... (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Nan Posted February 18, 2013 Administrators Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!! very good, and unfortunately probably very true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Koach Posted February 19, 2013 Administrators Report Share Posted February 19, 2013 lol very funny maintenance logs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now