Jump to content

Aircraft Maintenance Logs


Recommended Posts

Inspired by Nan's funny Complaint Dept list I have had this kicking around for years:



Qantas maintenance logs............ Qantas are the national airline for Australia


Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one, but never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.


After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.


Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


These are some of the best examples of the exchanges between the pilots and the ground crews............


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.


S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.




P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.


S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.




P: Something loose in cockpit.


S: Something tightened in cockpit.




P: Dead bugs on windshield.


S: We have ordered frresh supplies of live bugs for the wind shield




P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.


S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.




P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.


S: Evidence removed.




P: DME volume unbelievably loud.


S: DME volume set to more believable level.




P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.


S: That's what friction locks are for.




P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.


S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.




P: Suspected crack in windshield.


S: Suspect you're right.




P: Number 3 engine missing.


S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.




P: Aircraft handles funny........... (I love this one!)


S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.




P: Target radar hums.


S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.




P: Mouse in cockpit.


S: Cat installed.



And the best one for last..................


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget


pounding on something with a hammer.



S: Took hammer away from midget.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...