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Last trip to COSTCO


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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO

buying a large bag of Purina




dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the


check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.


What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and


have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I


was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't,

because I ended up in

the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened


in an intensive care ward with tubes

coming out of most of my


orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that


it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply


eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it

works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here


that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her "No, I stepped

off a curb to sniff a


poodle's hind quarters and a car hit me."


I thought the guy behind her was going

to have a heart attack

he was laughing so hard.


Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in


the world to think of crazy things to say.



Forward this (especially)


to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!!!

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