-
Posts
1,804 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
10
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Gallery
Posts posted by Nan
-
-
-
LOL some good ones there
-
He looks so wet and cold, I hope his owners found him and took him home
-
I've always used the port and left = 4 letters rule ...
Dawn re your joke about the Irish and the British I've see the same joke a few times with different nationalities and it always gets a giggle
-
LOL
-
-
Very Interesting reading. And yet with all the improvements in technology since then, they can't find the Malaysian Airlines plane that went down.
-
Very sad news, he was a nice man. Condolences to his family and friends.
-
Our forums aren't really for selling things Cal, they are mostly for information and interest. However, if you post a photo of your clock radio perhaps someone would be interested.
-
-
I think I've told my daughter and granddaughters nearly all of the above at some stage
-
Disorder in the Court
These are from a book called "Disorder in
the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________ _ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________ ______ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________ ______ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
______________________________ _______ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
______________________________ ___ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________ ________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ ______ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, very close to your IQ.
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_____________________________ _ ___________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________ _______ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________ ________ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________ _________ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you attend?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________ ___________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________ ________ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. -
Pretty cat my dogs would love Lilbit !!
-
That's it in a nutshell !!!!!!!
-
-
how sad, I knew he was ill but didn't realise it was so very serious. What a nice person he is, and a really good addition to our reader discussions. Please pass on my best wishes to him if you are in touch with him EB.
-
Happy Birthday from me too !!!!!
Hope you've had a great day
-
LOL !!!!!!!!!! eeek !
-
Thanks all for the birthday wishes I had a quiet day, recovering from the flu lol ... at least I got lots of sleep on my birthday !!!!
-
Happy Fourth of July to all the Americans, have fun
-
Happy Birthday TV, sorry I missed it, I was somewhere at sea Hope it was a great day !!
-
LOL !!!!!!
-
Sounds good, and your man would have been happy after that meal.
-
LOL love it !!!
Got Milk?
in Jokes
Posted
City folk have no idea !!!!!