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Stormy

One of these kids may be President someday.

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The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in California to 16 year old students — one of these kids may be President someday.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized (e.g. abdomen)?
A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”.
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

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Half of them would be great one liners if a stand-up comic used them in his act.   If this were not designed to be funny, then I doubt they will survive without a brain part long enough to be president.

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Some of those answers are very clever and quite amusing 

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Reading some of those Q and A's again, reminds me of a true story -- a Religious Studies question in a school exam was Q. "Who said 'Eli Eli Eli, my son" ?   One young boy responded with his answer A. "Eli's father" 

The boy got a detention for being a smartypants however even as a grown adult,  he never ever found out exactly who did say "Eli Eli Eli, my son"    

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Half of them would be great one liners if a stand-up comic used them in his act.   If this were not designed to be funny, then I doubt they will survive without a brain part long enough to be president.

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According to Matthew, the quote was Jesus shouted in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is translated, "My God, my God, for what have you forsaken me?"--nothing about father and son in the passage,

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No idea Smiley, it's been a family story for some years (the family come from a long line of archdeacons and the like) and always the quote was as posted

 

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