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  1. Henry


    The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
  2. lol Smiley,Actually it's a joke Egyptian,and It is a horror story in Egypt also
  3. The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
  4. Happy Birthday, Patsy Patsy
  5. Henry

    elderly house

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association... It made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
  6. mohamed,October 25 ahmed,September 30 My children's birthday
  7. Colocasia, also known as taro, is a root-like vegetable that has the texture of well-done potatoes: creamy and smooth! It’s also featured in some other ethnic Asian food. HOW DO EGYPTIANS EAT IT? Egyptians like to have colocasia as a stew over rice or with bread. Usually, swiss chard is added, imparting a dark green color to the dish and adding lots of calcium. We can find it both fresh and frozen here in Cairo, but I usually go with the frozen version, as you can see in the recipe below. Ingredients: (for the stew) 1 bag of frozen colocasia (tora) 2 medium tomatoes, chopped 1 onion, chopped 2 vegetable bouillon cubes 1 liter of water (for the greens) 1 tablespoon of oil 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon coriander 4-5 garlic cloves, minced 1 packet of chard (usually included in the bag of frozen colocasia) Instructions: 1. Pour the frozen colocasia into the pot and keep the chard aside. 2. Add the tomatoes, onion, bouillon cubes and water to the pot. 3. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. 4. In a separate shallow pan or skillet, heat the oil. 5. Add the garlic, salt, coriander and chard. Stir fry for 3 minutes or until garlic is tender and slightly golden. 6. Add the greens to the vegetable stew. 7. Simmer another 5-10 minutes. 8. Serve over rice or with baladi (pita) bread. Nutritional Information per serving: Calories: 152; Fat: 1g; Cholesterol: 0g; Carbohydrates: 34g; Fiber: 6g; Protein: 3g Adapted from : http://alfhana.wordpress.com/
  8. Henry

    Pat and Mike

    Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, "Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time." Pat enters the confessional and says, "Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman". The priest asks, "Was it Mrs. Murphy?" "No, Father", was the reply. "Was it Mrs O'Boyle?" Again the reply was "No, Father." "Was it Mrs. O'Grady?" Pat said, "Father, I'll not be telling you the lady's name!" So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman. Back on the street, Mike said, "Well, how did you do?" Pat said, "Just fine. I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects!"
  9. A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
  10. A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?". The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000." "That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?" "Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly. The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure" replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!" Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast! The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror! WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
  11. Henry

    Go Home And Wait

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. February 10, 1993 FBI and Florida authorities arrested Paul E. Flasher, 45, who had been sentenced to five years in prison in 1980 for grand theft but who had never been jailed. Flasher said he had gone home from the sentencing hearing in Tampa and "sat tight," just as his lawyer had instructed, waiting for notification to report to prison. Authorities forgot him for 12 years.
  12. This hearty and filling country dish is good for a cool, fall evening meal, a green salad and Basbousa for dessert. * 1 pound savory ground beef * I small onion chopped * 1 Cauliflower * 3-4 eggs * 2 Tablespoons flour * Cooking oil * Salt and pepper * 2 cups tomato juice Brown ground beef and onion, seasoning (salt, pepper) and set aside. Remove core and leaves from cauliflower and slice into trees, about " thick. You may blanch the cauliflower if you prefer a softer cauliflower, or leave it raw. Prepare a thin batter by beating together eggs, flour, seasoning and 3-4 tablespoons water. Dip the cauliflower slices into the batter and fry lightly until nicely brown. Remove and drain on absorbent paper. Add 1 cup of tomato juice to the ground beef. If you want a spicier taste, use either one if the seasoned V8 juices, or add hot pepper sauce to your tomato sauce. You could also use spaghetti sauce, although it will result in a thicker consistency. Grease a casserole or baking dish. Layer as follows: cauliflower, ground beef, cauliflower. Pour the remaining juice over the moussaka and bake in a preheated oven for 30-35 minutes. BASBOUSA Semolina Cake Semolina is a wheat grain, more familiar to us as an ingredient in couscous or pasta. However, the Egyptians have turned this staple into a delicious, sweet dessert treat, Basbousa. Served with sweet syrup, this treat is a sure way to introduce your friends and family to Egyptian specialties. * Cup butter, preferably unsalted * Cup sugar * 1 Teaspoon vanilla * 2 Eggs (No-cholesterol egg substitute ok) * 2 Cups fine semolina * 1 Teaspoon baking powder * Teaspoon baking soda * Cup plain yogurt (or lemon yogurt) * Blanched split almonds * Syrup: * 2 Cups sugar * 1 Cups water * 1 Tablespoon lemon juice -Cream butter, sugar and vanilla until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time and beat well. -Sift semolina flour, baking powder and baking soda twice. Fold into batter alternately with yogurt. -Spread batter into a greased 8 x 12 inch baking pan and place the almonds across in rows so that when the cake is cut, each piece will have an almond centered on it. -Bake in a 350-degree oven for 30-35 minutes until cake is cooked when tested. -Make the syrup while the cake is cooking. Dissolve sugar in water over medium heat, add lemon juice and bring pan to a boil. Boil rapidly for 10 minutes, then cool by standing the cooking pan in another pan of cold water. -Once cake is finished baking, spoon cooled syrup over the hot cake. Cool thoroughly and cut into diamond shapes or squares to serve. Traditionally, Basbousa is served with Ushta, a very thick clotted cream made from buffalos milk. In place of this, use thick whipped cream or for a lighter treat, a whipped cream substitute such a Cool Whip.
  13. Egyptian Food and Recipes. Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 2 hours Total Time: 2 hours, 15 minutes 2 lbs. stewing lamb or beef, cut into one-inch cubes. 2 onion(s), finely chopped 2 cloves garlic, finely minced 1 teaspoon(s) ground cumin 1 teaspoon(s) ground coriander 1 cup(s) peeled, seeded and chopped tomatoes 3 tablespoon(s) tomato paste 1 cup(s) stock (beef) or water, or as needed 2 tablespoons chopped fresh mint (optional) salt and freshly ground pepper 1 1/2 lbs. okra juice of 1 lemon Preperation: Note Okra must be cooked so that its slimy texture is eliminated. The Greeks have the best technique for achieving this. Trim the conical tops with a sharp knife, then soak the okra in red wine-vinegar (Khall) for 30 minutes, allowing 1/2 cup vinegar per pound. Drain, rinse and dry the okra and proceed with the recipe. This dish is popular throughout the Middle East and can be prepared with lamb or beef. Serve with rice. Method: 1. Preheat an oven to 325 F (165 C) 2. In a large frying pan over medium-high heat, warm 1 tablespoon of the butter or oil per serving. 3. Working in batches, add the meat and fry, turning, until browned on all sides, about 10 minutes. Using a slotted spoon transfer to a baking dish or stew pot. 4. Add the onions to the fat remaining in the frying pan and saute over medium heat until tender and translucent, 8-10 mins. 5. Add the garlic, cumin, coriander, tomatoes, tomato paste, the 1 cup stock and mint (if using). Stir well. Pour over the meat and season to taste with salt and pepper. 6. Cover and bake until all the liquid is absorbed, about 1 1/2 Hrs. Taste and adjust the seasonings. 7. Meanwhile, prepare the okra as directed in the note above. 8. In a saute pan over medium heat, warm the remaining 1/2 tablespoon (per serving) of butter or oil Add the okra and saute for 3 mins, stirring gently. 9. Remove the stew from the oven and arrange the okra on top in a spoke pattern. Sprinkle the lemon juice evenly over the surface. Re-cover the dish and return it to the oven. 10. Bake for 35 minutes longer. Add stock or water if the mixture seems too dry. 11. Serve the "BAMIA" stew piping hot. enjoy
  14. Henry

    A Cat In Heaven

    A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on." St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
  15. Henry


    LOL,so her father was of faction gorillas or chimpanzees ?
  16. Fattah is a slight meal, delicious, easy and instant. It is a famous in Eid El-Adha and Ramadan of Muslims. It contains rice, roasted bread and meat. A pound of Fattah contains on around 780 k.cal, 6.8% fat, 18% carbohydrates and 7.5% protein. Ready in: 45 min. Ingredients - 2 cup boiled rice. - Some bread. - Meat soup. - 2 tsp mashed garlic. - 1 tablespoon gee. - Salt. - 1/4 cup white vinegar, Method Preparation of the body 1- Cut bread into small pieces in a frying pan. 2. Roast bread in a little gee or oil. 3- Place roasted bread in a deep bowl and add the hot soup. 4- Stir bread slightly and spread rice on it. Preparation of sauce 1- Redden garlic in a tablespoon of gee until have a golden color. 2- Turn the heat down, then add vinegar and sprinkle salt. 3- Spread garlic sauce on rice surface. Finally, you can put some meat cubes on rice. Enjoy .
  17. One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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