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Posts posted by Henry

  1. December 18, 1992

    Three maintenance workers in Alexandria, Ind., fixed a massive street-flooding problem in October when they pulled a 200-pound hairball from a manhole.

    Said one of the men, "We thought we had a goat."

  2. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8:

    One of the passengers in a Soviet spacecraft is fooling around with the equipment, and his monkeyshines may end the flight prematurely.

    The passenger is in fact a monkey named Yarosha -- Russian slang for village troublemaker.

    Evidently bored on the fifth day of a scheduled 12-day flight, Yarosha slipped out of his harness and took a tour of the spacecraft.

    Tass, the Soviet news agency, reported that Yarosha was having a delightful time tampering with all of the equipment within reach.

    Watch out, Yarosha; if you break something, they'll probably dock your flight pay.

  3. A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"


    Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"


    The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."


    And she says, "So have I, love."


    To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."


  4. John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. 


    "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks.


    He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." 


    The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through--over the balcony railing.

    Just then John's date walked out. 


    "Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" 


    "To tell the the truth, " he replied, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!" 


  5. A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.


    The farmer said, "That's once."


    A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.


    The farmer said, "That's twice."


    After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.


    The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.


    His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."


    The farmer said, "That's once." 


  6. Top Ten Signs you're Not Watching a Real Baseball Team 


    From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 


    You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. 


    Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. 


    They keep shouting "Do over!" 


    When umpire yells, "Strike 3!" batter looks at him as if the dude's speaking French. 


    Try as they might, they just can't scratch themselves like professionals. 


    First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert. 


    Game stops when some lady in a house near the stadium shouts "Dinner time!" 


    Players constantly adjusting each other's cups. 


    You overheard the coach yelling, "Run, Forrest, run!" 


    They play like the Mets 

  7. orca-killer-whale.jpg?1361827264 

    Orcas are often called killer whales. Though they don't typically attack humans, this name is still well-chosen due to the animal's ability to take down large marine animals, such as sea lions and whales. In fact, orcas will prey on almost any animal they find in the sea, in the air over the water or along the coastline. To hunt, killer whales use their massive teeth, which can grow up to 4 inches (10 centimeters) long.  

    Orcas are known for their long dorsal fin (the fin on the animal's back) and black-and-white coloring. Just behind the dorsal fin is a patch of gray called a "saddle" — because it looks like a riding saddle. An orca's body is cylindrical and tapers at both ends to form an aerodynamic shape.
    According to National Geographic, orcas are considered the largest species of the dolphin family. They weigh up to 6 tons (5,443 kilograms) and grow to 23 to 32 feet (7 to 9.7 meters). That is almost as long as a school bus. The largest orca ever recorded was 32 feet (9.8 m) long, according to Sea World.
    Killer whales are the most widely distributed mammals, other than humans, according to Sea World. They live in the oceans and seas surrounding most coastal countries. They adapt very well to any climate. For example, they can live in the warm waters near the equator or the icy waters of the North and South Pole regions. Orcas are more likely to be found at higher latitudes and near the shore, though. [Gallery: Russia's Beautiful Killer Whales]
    These animals do not stay in one area and have been documented traveling long distances. For example, one study found a group of orcas traveling all the way from the waters off of Alaska to those near central California, according to International Union for Conservation of Nature's (IUCN) Red List. This is a distance of more than 2,000 kilometers (more than 1,200 miles).
    Orcas are very social and live in groups called pods, which usually have up to 40 members, according to National Geographic. There are two different kinds of pods: A resident pod is less aggressive and tends to prefer fish. Transient pods act much like wolf packs and are much more aggressive. They hunt marine mammals by working together. [Video: Killer Whales Caught in Stunning Drone Footage]
    Orcas are apex predators, at the top of the food chain. No other animals  (except for humans) hunt orcas. Killer whales feed on sea birds, squid, octopuses, sea turtles, sharks, rays and fish. They also eat most marine mammals, such as seals and dugongs. The only exceptions are river dolphins and manatees, according to the IUCN. Killer whales have also been reported to eat moose, according to Sea World.
    Orcas use many different techniques to catch prey. Sometimes they beach themselves to catch seals on land, meaning they jump from the water onto land. Orcas will also work together to catch larger prey or groups of prey such as schools of fish.
    Killer whales also work together to take care of the young in a pod. Often, young females will help the mothers care for young orcas
    Pin It The orca calf playing with a plastic bag.
    Credit: Center for Whale ResearchView full size image
    A female killer whale will give birth every three to 10 years, to one offspring at a time. The gestation period usually lasts for around 17 months. A baby orca is called a calf, and they are about 8.5 feet (2.6 m) long and 265 to 353 lbs. (120 to 160 kg) at birth, according to Sea World. Calves nurse for 5 to 10 seconds at a time, several times an hour. This goes on day and night until the calf has mature enough. It is weaned at a year old. Orcas can live from 50 to 100 years.
    According to the Integrated Taxonomic Information System (ITIS), orcas are in the same family as dolphins and pilot whales. The taxonomy of orcas is:
    Kingdom: Animalia
    Infrakingdom: Deuterostomia
    Phylum: Chordata
    Subphylum: Vertebrata
    Infraphylum: Gnathostomata        
    Superclass: Tetrapoda        
    Class: Mammalia
    Subclass: Theria
    Infraclass: Eutheria
    Order: Cetacea
    Suborder: Odontoceti
    Family: Delphinidae
    Genus & species: Orcinus orca
    The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) notes that recent genetic studies have led many cetacean biologists to hypothesize that multiple species or subspecies of killer whales exist worldwide.
    Three distinct forms, or ecotypes, of killer whales are recognized: resident, transient (or Bigg's) and offshore. The ecotypes differ in dietary needs, behavior patterns, social structures and habitat preferences, as well as in genetics, size and shape, according to the NOAA's Office of Protected Resources. And the IUCN notes, "The taxonomy of this genus is clearly in need of review, and it is likely that O. orca will be split into a number of different species or at least subspecies over the next few years."
    Conservation status
    According to the IUCN, the orca's population is unknown, and therefore the organization cannot label the animal's conservation status, though some populations are protected, according to the NOAA.
    Civilizations around the world kill orcas for various reasons. Some people kill them for food, while fishermen see the animals as competition that must be killed to protect the fish population. Contaminants in the ocean and seas, such as chemicals and oil, also pose a threat to orcas.
    Other facts
    Orcas use echolocation to talk to each other and hunt. They will make a sound that travels through the water until sound waves hit an object. Then, the sound wave will bounce back to the orca. Using this technique, they are able to detect where objects and other orcas are in the area. They can also find out the size and shape of an object using echolocation.
    When orcas are born, their dorsal fin is flexible, but it stiffens as the calf ages.
    Orcas are black and white for a reason; their coloring helps to camouflage them by obscuring their outline in the water


  8. 1 - Lucy Whitmore in the movie First Dates 50 original.jpg

    Michelle Falbots wake up every day next to the man trying to convince her that her husband, despite the lack of Know it then shows her a photo album of their marriage 13 years ago to assure the health of his words even Incredible, Michelle started to suffer from memory loss is repeated every day what makes them do not remember events Yesterday remember all the details of her life until 1994 and then can not remember anything as a result of Two incidents of road damaged Bmakrtha. Michelle is the same character Lucy Whitmore started Carried out by Drew Barry Moore with Adam Sandler in the movie 50 First Dates
    2 - Zorro in the movie The Mask Of Zorro

    Personal Zorro defender of the poor and the population of the US state of California against tyrants The famous black fatigues and conviction derived from personal Joaquin Murrieta, who appeared In California in the fifties of the nineteenth century, when being Spanish rule, was considered by some as head of a gang in what some see as a hero Mexican, but some politicians are personal Zorro symbol of resistance to the Anglo culture American in California, the film shows the role of Zorro Antonio Banderas, who is Revenge of the killer of his brother, Captain Love.


    3 - Victor Navorska The Terminal

    The Terminal film revolves around the hero, who, in turn, Tom Hanks, which is located
    Victim as a result of stricter laws and political complexities where forced to stay at the airport for several
    Months as a result of a coup in his country and the loss of his passport and is derived from film events
    The true story of Mehran Nasseri Iranian citizen who spent at least
    28-year-old in the lounge number one Charles de Gaulle Airport, France as a result of the loss of his papers
    And not to accept any country hosted, the difference in the film is the fact that the director
    Steven Spielberg made the hero of Eastern Europe and the airport as well as the US-term
    Spent, Mehran was moved to the hospital in 2006 and was demolished desks
    At the airport.
    4 - Hanna Schmitz in the film The Readeroriginal.jpg


    Played Kate Winslet, The Reader in the film, which tells the story of a criminal life
    Nazi war, the role of Elsie Koch, which was responsible for a wife camps
    Arrest and has many of the right of prisoners of war crimes, which are derived from the story
    Hannah Schmitz, who came from a poor family and married a close friend of Adolf Hitler
    Who was appointed in charge of one of the concentration camps and became responsible for
    The camp guards and many of the processes of torture and rape of detainees,
    Has been trial and punishment of life imprisonment to decide to end her life, as happened
    In the film, but the difference that the film to make it correspond to the old boyfriend, who sent her many
    Strips during her incarceration in the fact that they met with her son, who sent her poetry books.
    5 - Raymond Babbitt in the movie Rain Man

    Raymond Babbitt character brilliantly performed by Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rain Man Inspired by a real character Kim Beck that appeared to light after his interview Starter Scenario Barry Moore adding the last of his role Dustin Hovan, and after the success of The film, Kim spent 21 years reviewing mental potential of more than 64 million people Around the world, where Kim can remember 98% of what he read and heard and saw, human Normal remembers only 45%, and it can read and remember books older than 9 years and saves thousands of book recalls.


    6 - Norman Bates in the movie Pyscho



    Character Norman Bates psychiatric patient who is believed to be dead and his mother, and keeps
    Bjttha in the cellar, hotel guests want to kill derived from the story of Edward again, a
    A psychopath and serial killer was arrested state of the US and Askinson
    In 1957 on charges of murder and stole the bodies of an infinite number of women because they remembered
    His mother of the deceased as well as flay their skin to make lamps caps, socks and analyzed
    Women in the hope of transforming it to a woman, was considered insane and spent his life in a psychiatric clinic.
    7 - Laurel Hadera in the movie Catwoman
    Some believe that the character of Laurel Hadera, which played a role Sharon Stone, in
    Catwoman movie based on the life story of Heather Byrd defending products
    Resistance to the effects of time and despite that Heather is not evil, as featured in the movie
    There are several similarities between the two characters where both Blondes Heather was born in
    Salt Lake City in the US was the lauryl Hadera live in the same city.
    8 - Rocky Balboa in the movie Rocky
    Derived Sylvester Stallone character, Rocky Balboa, in the movie Rocky personal
    Chuck and Ebenr submerged boxer who managed to play a game with Muhammad Ali Year
    1975 World Heavyweight Championship is considered by many important, but with the game was proceeding
    Enables Chuck Clay of rhythm on the ground blow to the chest, but lost in the end
    The last round where Clay was able to eliminate it.
    9 - Emily Rose in the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose
    The film, which tells about the trial for the death of a young woman named Emily Rose as a result of an attempt to expel
    Evil spirits by a priest was built based on the true story of a German teenager
    Annelies is Michelle, 16, has started to show symptoms of demonic made
    Suffer for years of paralysis, hunger, torture itself and satanic visions came up
    Ksasan tried to expel evil spirits them for 10 months to die as a result of hunger,
    Were referred her parents and priests on trial for involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to
    Sentenced to 6 months.
    10 - Christie clown in the series The Simpsons
    Personal Clown Christie preferred provider programs with Bart and Lisa in the series
    Simpson is a personal Inspired Serial Starter Gharwining died from C. Yen
    Who made the role of a real clown in his Rusty Nails, and who used Matt
    View it as a child and was the most famous children's programs at the time.
  9. From Reuters News Service:


    Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle


    Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms.


    They even provided a helpful photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could


    find their own growing in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead


    showed Destroying Angels, which are deadly when eaten.


  10. A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. 


    To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. 


    He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. 


    "I am." said the man. 


    "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" 


    The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." 


    "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. 


    "Here's your chicken." said the farmer. 



    Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!


    The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.


    As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"


    The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

  12. A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?" 


    Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"


    The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."


    And she says, "So have I, love."


    To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."

  13. There was a Jewish man and he has a difficult wife


    He wants to get rid of her in any way


    Thought to be a Christian man


    she Gone are also to be a Christian woman


    He found that there was no divorce or second marriage to his wife, even


    he said What is the solution


    he heard that Islam has a divorce


    and can Marry four women at one time


    he Entered in Islam and went to the mosque to announce his conversion to Islam


    he found his wife in the mosque in Islam intervention also


    She said to him: Do you think I'll let you live in happier From me.


    I bear witness that there is no god but Allah
    And I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God "She said this"
  14. The+Sun+Perpendicular+over+the+face+of+R


    Sunlight to Entry "holy of holies" and reach down to the statues of the four
    Of the most important features that distinguish the temple of Abu Simbel in Aswan from other temples of the ancient Egyptians entry of sunlight in the early morning to place inside the so-called " holy of holies " and reach down to the statues of the four , Vtdi this place deep in the rock and away from the entrance by about sixty meters. ! !
    At five o'clock and fifty-three minutes on 22 October each year sneaking Sunbeam falling over the face of King Ramses flood of light fills the facial features pharaoh inside his room in the Holy of Holies in the heart of the temple , and then multiplies Sunbeam fast component beam of light shining faces of the statues of the four inside the Holy of Holies .
    Where the intervention of the sun from the front of the temple to go a distance of 200 meters to reach the Holy of Holies to light up three statues of the four in the inside , and they Statue Re-Hor sister of the sun god , and the statue of Ramses II , which is equal with God , and the statue of Amon god of Thebes in that era , but the statue fourth of the god Ptah, the Lord of Memphis, and patron of art and artists and the god of the underworld does not reach of sunlight , because it must be kept in total darkness like condition in the underworld and then cut off the sun's rays 60 meters other lying directly above the statue of King Ramses II and the statue of Amon Ra god of Thebes, maker framework about the statues along the 355 cm and 185 cm width .
    Interpretation of the astronomical phenomenon:
    The progress of the ancient Egyptians in astronomy .. Confirms the full benefit of public manifestation in their lives and they knew the characteristics of the sunrise and sunset and the timing , location and length of the solar year .
    Vtaamd sun on the temple of Abu Simbel twice a year based on the scientific fact discovered by the ancient Egyptians is that the sunrise from East Point completely and sunset from the point of the West completely on atheist and the twentieth of March, and then change point rise by a quarter degree almost every day to the north where up in the sunrise -to-point by about 23 degrees and 27 minutes north of the East in the twenty-second of June. Ramses 2
    That the sun is back again to shine from East Point in exactly the same rate moves towards the north to reach the point of the Middle completely in the atheist and the twentieth of September, and then change the point of sunrise at a rate of a quarter degree almost to the south to become within 23 degrees and 27 minutes south of the East in the second twenty of the month of December of each year and then come back at the same rate to reach a point in the Middle completely atheist and the twentieth of March.
    Was based on the ancient Egyptians in the discovery that the sun to pass on every point during sunrise and sunset twice each year , and that the distance of time between them will vary depending on each point after point for the Middle completely .
    And that the sun passes over the face of Ramses II, twice a year , on the twenty-second of the month of October and the twenty-second of February , came as a result of choosing the ancient Egyptians point in the path of Sunrise away from the points of course with a time of four months to comply with the October 22 and 22 February every year and then they built the temple so that the direction of the path that fall on the face of the sun , including Ramses II from the east of the narrow opening . And that the ancient Egyptians made ​​this slot so narrow that if you entered the sunlight in the day and landed on the statue's face it the next day deviate a small deviation of a quarter degree this fall rays the next day on the wall of the hole does not fall on the face of the statue.
    Finder phenomenon:
    I discovered this phenomenon in 1874 where she explored Amelia Eduarz and the team accompanying her to monitor this phenomenon and recorded in her book, published in 1899 ( thousand miles above the Nile ) which stated : become statues of the Holy of Holies , high-impact and surrounded by a halo of beautiful prestige and dignity at sunrise and fall rays on them, and Her any scenes if not watching the fall of the sun this entertains doubt strong impact, calculated accurately by astronomy and mathematics at the ancient Egyptians , where as accurately and face towards a certain angle so that the fall of these rays on the faces of the statues of the four .
    The story of the transfer of the temple of Abu Simbel and the reasons for change as the sun passes :
    It is worth mentioning that the occurrence of the sun passes over the Statue of Ramses was happening on October 21 and February 21 before 1964 , however, after the transfer of the temple of Abu Simbel after the cut to save him from drowning under the waters of the High Dam Lake in the early sixties from its old location , which were carved into the mountain to its current location , has become a phenomenon repeated on October 22 and February 22 , in order to change the latitude and longitude after the transfer of the temple 120 meters west and up 60 meters in the sixties of the last century, headed the government in Egypt, an urgent appeal to the United Nations and the countries of the world , to save the temple of Abu Simbel along with some Other temples attached from drowning is inevitable , because of the High Dam project and Lake " Nasser "
    The process of transferring the temple of Abu Simbel from the most complicated transfers of buildings or monuments throughout history , and then the project cost more than $ 50 million , and participated by the finest architects and civilians in the world.
    The big challenge is to maintain that unique phenomenon which is the principle of the sun passes in the temple of Abu Simbel after changing place , leading to a change in latitude and longitude , and thus delayed the duration of the day time as mentioned above.
    It was the transfer of the temple of Abu Simbel successfully to become one of the biggest projects of the last century to the bulkiness and the precision with which requests implemented to keep the sun passes , especially that high interface Abu Simbel temple is 33 meters , and behind the entrance spread rooms and corridors were built deep in the mountain, decorated with statues , paintings and drawings hieroglyphics on walls , and weigh more than 200 000 tons .


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