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Koach

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Posts posted by Koach

  1. A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.

     

    "Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."

     

    "You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."

     

    The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."

  2. I think it's great he heard about us discussing his story. I wonder how many of us read the log to see what we said about it lol

     

    This sentence from his email:

     

    "In that story, there would be a happy ending. And a surprise one, too!-- I hope."

     

    got me wondering just who be happy, a Petting Zoo visitor or some well fed spider family. ;)

  3. A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

     

    "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

     

    "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

     

    A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

     

    Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

     

    Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

     

    The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora") because:

     

    1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

     

    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

     

    3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

     

    4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

     

    (THIS GETS BETTER!)

     

    The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador") because:

     

    1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

     

    2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

     

    3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and

     

    4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

     

    The women won.

  4. Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait.

     

    Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.

     

    Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.

     

    An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

  5. Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.

     

    After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had had a flat tire.

     

    Much to their relief she smiled and said: "Well, you missed a test today, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."

     

    Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:

     

    "First Question: Which tire was flat?"

  6. Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

     

    Each of the three is asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like most to hear them say about you?

     

    The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man."

     

    The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

     

    The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

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