You Know Your Spouse --------

[Guest]

Has Been Deployed Too Long When…

 

• “When you go to the doctor and they ask if you could be pregnant and you respond with a, ‘No, I’ve practiced abstinence for the past eight months.’”
• “When you start mistaking the wine bottle for the water bottle.”
• “When you have no one to talk to so you email them every single thought you have and they end up with 100-200 emails after two days of not being able to get to a computer.”
• “When someone asks you what time it is, and you respond with what timezone he/she is in.”
• “You hold one way conversations with your dogs and answer for them.”
• “When you don’t care if you look like a gorilla.”
• “You try to call his cellphone and get pissed when he doesn’t answer.”
• “When you order your homecoming banner a week into deployment.”
• “When you’re a hairy beast and you don’t care.”
• “You spend hours decorating boxes like a kindergartener.”
• “When you actually miss his farts and his messes.”