[Honest Golfer !]

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody  5 - iron , standing over a lifeless man.....  The detective asks , " Madam , is that your husband ? "

       " Yes " , says the woman .

" Did you hit him with that golf club ? " 

     " Yes , yes I did . " The woman begins to sob , drops the club , and puts her hands on her face .

       " How many times did you hit him ? " 

        "  I don't know , put me down for a five  ! "   

[Long Flight ....]

 Fifteen minutes into the flight from Miami to Toronto, the captain announced : " Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed . There is nothing to worry about . Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled , but we still have 3 engines left . " 

      Thirty minutes later the captain announces : " Sorry , but one more engine has failed and the flight will take another 2 hours . But don't worry as we can fly fine with only 2 engines . "

     An hour later the captain announces : " One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another 3 hours , --- but do not worry as we still have one engine left ! "

 

     A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked , " If we lose one more engine , we will be up here all day ! "