Koach
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Posts posted by Koach
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LOL his stomach sure is bulging.
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LOL, did one of our blonde chatters tell you that from personal experience?
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A juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police.
"What are all those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.
"I juggle them in my act."
"Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.
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A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."
So the old farmer went about his farm chores.
Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"
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A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon. The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the pirates.
Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the pirates and are victorious.
Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?" The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit." "I see," says the cabin boy.
A few days later, they sight 20 pirate ships in the distance and the captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my brown pants."
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Nice work Bry.
I can tell you spent a lot of time on it
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Happy Birthday BeguilingMyst!
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Happy Birthday Neon!
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A police car was parked outside a local neighborhood bar. The officer in the car noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn, and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, turned on his flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it is your equipment," said the man, "tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
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During a terrible snow storm, all the highway signs were buried in snow.
The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs by twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars.
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Happy Birthday Ribeye!
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I hope all goes well T-Tok
I happen to know that the best therapy for a new knee is lots of chatting lol
Please keep us up to date on how you are doing.
Koach
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Good to see you in chat again Stormy.
I hope all tests have good results
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Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them.
One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up."
When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress."
The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up."
He came back and said: " We both have the same problem.
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Thats quite a list, Henry, and I agree with all of them
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Happy Birthday eXonyte
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You have great looking cats, Dabrownhammer
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lol, i wasn't expecting that punchline.
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LOL, i knew there was a reason I didn't have a cell phone.
"Telephonophobia : This is the fear of telephones. Even though telephones have become the fastest means of communication today, there are many people who will avoid using telephones."
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I wish all people of all religions believed this:
"The Prophet answered,
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Some pics of Whitey and Curly. Curly is the larger, darker cat, Whitey is the smaller, whiter cat
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Henry,
Thanks for posting all this information about Ancient and Modern Egypt. I find it fascinating
When did she reign?
If you have written these interesting articles yourself, please let us know.
If you got the information from a website, please post the url.
Koach
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lol Henry
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There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her.
So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her.
Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included thinking he would surely win her approval.
Son #3 had to do something even better than these so he bought her a trained parrot. This parrot had been trained for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could mention any verse in the Bible and the parrot could quote it word for word. How useful his nearly blind mother would find that!
Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's much too large for me to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway."
Then she explained to her second son, "Son, the car is beautiful, it has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and I really don't like that driver, so please return the car."
Next, she went to son number three and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for that thoughtful gift. The chicken was small, but delicious."
Getting Old
in Jokes
Posted
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just waken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"