Mammogram thoughts

[Stormy]

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, 

who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, “Your 

Honor, I’m guilty, but….there were extenuating circumstances.”

 

The female Judge said, sarcastically, “I’d certainly like to hear those 

extenuating circumstances.” I did too, so I listened as the lady told 

her story.

 

“Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was 

met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and 

she tilted her head to one side and crooned, “Hi! I’m Belinda! All I 

need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, 

then slip on this gown. Everything clear?”

 

I’m thinking, “Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.” Belinda 

then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

 

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left 

and said, “Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so 

we can get everything?” Fine, I answered.

 

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining 

circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a 

holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between 

those two 4-inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

 

Complete darkness, the power was off!

 

Belinda said, “Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag.” Then 

she headed for the door.

 

“Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?” I shouted.

 

Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open 

so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.”

 

Before I could shout NOOOO! she disappeared.

 

And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, “maintenance men Extraordinaire” 

found me…half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and 

the other part smashed between glass!

 

After exchanging a polite, ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greeting, Bubba (or 

possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

 

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as 

possible, “Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway.”

 

“OK, you take care now,” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d 

been standing in the line at the grocery store.

 

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.

 

Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh, I am sooo 

sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly 

me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”

 

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”

 

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said, “Case Dismissed!”

 

[Koach]

LOL!  

[Nan]

LOL !!!!!!!